How Many Tom Friedmans Does It Take To Screw In A Chinese Lightbulb?

The Friedman carbon footprint

Three: One to sing “Mo Li Hua” (“A beautiful jasmine flower/A beautiful jasmine flower/Perfumed blossoms fill the branch/Fragrant and white for everyone’s delight/Let me come and pick a blossom/To give to someone/Jasmine flower, oh jasmine flower”) and recite words of turgid awe over china's dreamy progressive towering techno-industrial rising (jasmine-banning) miracle; another to direct his household staff—instruments of the common good (and the carbon footprint) every one—to do it for him, making certain they install only the RoHs-compliant twisty bulbs (made in China) in all his fixtures (a thousand points of dim light); and another to change his name legally from Thomas “One-party-autocracy-certainly-has-its-drawbacks.-But-when-it-is-led-by-a-reasonably-enlightened-group-of-people,-as-China-is-today,-it-can-also-have-great-advantages” Friedman to Walter “Weaklings-and-despondents-at-home-may-groan-under-the-burden-but-the-youth-and-strength-of-the-Russian-people-is-essentially-at-one-with-the-Kremlin’s-program,-believes-it-worthwhile-and-supports-it,-however hard be the sledding” Duranty.